When a person has cheated on their lover without permission, and is feeling the shame, guilt and grief by it all. When (he) chooses to confess to her, he is pulling her into the cave of shame and darkness with him, instead of coming out into the light with her. Anytime this level of pain is shared with the other involved, it does nothing and creates more grief (it’s when guilt is shared with someone who’s unaware of it). It is the darkest side of the ego to want to share the deepest shame and guilt with another person, in such a way that they feel it with you. Confessing such darkness creates such darkness.
By stepping out into the light he finds his way out of this mess by having the actions of: “what can I do with her today that is positively different from yesterday… Everyday”? And forgiveness of oneself for stepping out of line… Forgiveness without judgement. Confession happens with God and God alone.
And if you must tell someone, that someone must remain a complete stranger to everyone within his and her circle of friends.

* The lightness you feel by telling (her) is the shameful weight you have past onto her, so she feels it for you, and complete irresponsibility on your part! Telling her just dumps it all in her lap, when it’s not hers to process. This is your burden; your cross to bare. In telling her, you’re incapable of manning-up and setting her free. So in telling her you know she will do it for you. So as she walks out with everything you own, that is the price you pay for not manning-up and setting her free before you cheat.
* Another reason for (him) to tell her is to bring her down and bring himself up so they are now eye to eye. Because being eye to eye means that they are now connecting again, no matter how dysfunctional it is. Choosing a more balanced response in the heat of the moment requires responsibility with focus and attention. Discovering other more positive ways in responding is time well spent. This inner work of changing behavioral patterns shortens the journey to harmony.
* Everything we do first starts in the mind, then it becomes an action.
* Cheating happens from those who have very little communication skills (clear communication can lead to permission).
And if cheating happens with this person, it will be easy to repeat it with the next person. So be mindful of being the next, and set your expectations accordingly.
* It’s okay to admit that you are not marriage or commitment material. Honesty to yourself, then honesty to your lover.

* An awakened mature man can sometimes have the ability to forgive such actions, yet if he discovers it again he will then not hesitate to close that door.
* “If you strongly suspect it to be true, then it must be“. Intuition comes from the loving direction of spiritual truth.
* Honesty shouldn’t wait til after the fact, honesty is best expressed before mistakes. Keeping that line of communication open, and trusting in talking about the things that are difficult.
* In truth, when a person has cheated even to the smallest degree, it’s a sign that your relationship is not forever, and to stay in it beyond what’s comfortable would be destructive. Continue on Relationships.
* Cheating creates a ton of karma; spiritual dept. Can A Karmic Relationship Work?

Blessings…