Telepathic and Empathic

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We’ve all had those experiences in which we’re thinking of someone, then the phone rings and it’s them. Or you’re driving down the road, and you decide not to pass the person in front of you, because you get the sense they are about to turn. Telepathy can also be in finishing their sentences, or having the feeling that you’re needed by a friend. Having a well developed telepathy can replace the telephone. Telepathy is a person to person communication, without the face to face conversation. Because telepathy is part of our extra sensory perceptions, and one of the characteristics of our Light-body/Spirit. For the most of us it operates through the subconscious and very automatic, without us having to think about it. This ability may come in many forms: sensing that something isn’t quite right, a simple knowing of it to be true or not, a quiet warning, or a warm and fuzzy feeling that it’s going to be okay, and so much more. Because telepathy is part of our internal processing of the world, the most of us pick up messages through it without ever knowing that, that’s what’s going on.
Few of us want to become more conscious and fine tune the actions of it, simply because it requires us to slow down, quiet the mind, and learn to trust.
Some women have it slightly stronger than men, simply because of children, it’s part of the mothering instinct. Men have it with business; where and when to get involved, and the ability to look into systems of business.

* Telepathy is: If you’re doing something that requires focus and attention, and someone just pops into your mind, then they are thinking of you. Where as if a smell or picture reminds you of them, then those thoughts of them are your own.
* Empathy is an action for or towards someone.
* Empathic is an awareness of another person’s emotions or intentions.
As our empathic awareness awakens, we discover another level of emotions to learn how to navigate. Both empathy and compassion can be one of the toughest lessons to bring into Divine balance. Because of earth’s lessons of duality, first we learn how to be empathic and compassionate for other people. As in learning the needs of others. Then we learn how to use empathy and compassion as tools to navigate self-awareness, self-love and self-loyalty. And boundaries is a tool that gives us permission to create healthy space between giving too much to others, and bring forward enough attention to ourselves, for our own sense of personal balance.
By learning compassion with people we learn to open ourselves up to experiencing emotions of those around us without verbal communication. Being empathic is an extra sensory perceptional tool that gives us the ability to navigate emotions of both people and animals, and promotes a choice of whether or not to get involved.
Unfortunately most people don’t want other people to know their feelings, as in don’t want to be seen all the time. So if telepathy and empathic abilities are too loud for you, and it’s creating waves in your relationships, then learn how to shift your awareness from your intuitive sight [3rd eye], and move into and learn to think and process with your heart center.
If you want to fine tune it and open that channel, and start to have the sense of to-which it’s coming from. It’s done through “God connection” and those higher fields of perception. So take the feeling of love, and elevate into those higher fields of perception where that love is no longer for someone or something. You’re just immersed in the empowerment of love and gratitude, and that is “God connection”.

* If you’re interested in sexual power, then read Power and being Powerful.
* Telepathy comes into our thinking centers, while empathy comes into our emotional centers.
* Sending a message is done in a “one phrase” sentence. “Call me”, the image in your mind is pulling them in close to you, and with and gentle emotion of “need”. Or “I’m thinking fondly of you”, where the image in your mind is seeing only them, as in a warm embrace… or. Too much information becomes confusing, and the receiver won’t pick it up. Allow the emotion of this statement to fill your body, while thinking only of them.
* Receiving a message is done through the intuitive space; open the heart, step into “God-space”, and trust in your impressions. These messages will be quiet and in the back of your thoughts. The more that you are self-aware, the more that you will know the difference between “your thoughts” and those of someone else coming in. This takes practice; see if you can know who is calling you before you answer the phone.
When we raise our awareness above earthly desire, we step into “God connection”. Fine-tuning it through the “God connection” will tell us “why” not to get involved, or “why” to get involved. Or to know the clarity of the message and to whom it’s from. We’re also able to see into social systems [such as governmental systems] using the art of telepathy.
* Telepathy is a part of our spiritual self [perceptions of the spirit include intuition, clairvoyance, telepathy, empathic, the chakra system… ]. Sex is chemistry and apart of the ego-self and very physical [the perceptions of the physical include the ego, seeing, hearing, touching… ]. God and ego are complete opposites [anything involving ego is a separation from God], in the same way that telepathy and sex are opposites. So the idea of telepathic sex is completely impossible.
Those on the beginning of the path have a tendency of teaching through Will, the expression of the physical and very egoic, this describes a telepathic technique without the mention of God or your multidimensional spirit. Without connection to the God-self / higher-self this experience is almost physical, and still only two dimensional. And this is all a part of the path home to God, a path of learning that involves many hundreds of lifetimes. A path that starts with first understanding the physical and ending with the spiritual. We have to first understand separation before we can truly embrace the freedom of enlightenment. Still an out-of-body experience with sex is far less intense than the real thing. Teaching this form of out-of-body sex somehow conveys the ability of making someone love you against their Will, this is called manipulation, and the possibility of it is so far from the truth. More of this on Healers Light and Spirit.
* Understanding the difference between telepathy from astral sex or remote viewing are completely different, and most people get that terminology mixed up. The Astral plain is where we go at night when we dream. Astral sex: is in having a need to connect to someone, a specific someone. When you have a dream of having sex with someone you know, or someone you’ve never met as an out-of-body experience [OBE] or remote-viewing, that is done on the Astral plain. This experience can be taught. The difference is the person you had Astral sex with has no clue about any of this, as in a one sided experience. This form of sex is far less intense than the true physical experience. The vision of this experience seems very real, as in lucid dreaming; like actually being there, still it’s about the same as a “day dream” fantasy.
* Sensing someone’s sexual energy from across the room is done through the Mental Field. When we are out-and-about in the world, and get that sense that we are being watched, that means simply that someone or something has entered our mental field. Our mental field is a part of our extra sensory perception [ESP]. It’s apart of the spirit and not of the physical body. Through this awareness we can tune-in and get the sense if it’s a man or woman, person or animal, kind or warning, sexual or neutral, or… Depending upon your sensitivities and your environment, your mental field can have the reach of about 300 yards. Heighten your awareness, and you can reach out a bit further.
The other is our Emotional Body, this is also a part of our ESP. To be empathic is to feel and connect to the emotions of others, while the emotional body is a field of not only perception; it’s also a field of understanding that guides us through the emotional navigation of those around us. Understanding emotional boundaries, or being able to anticipate emotional needs. The emotional body is where we process our emotional perceptions, and a healthy emotional body stays within the boundaries of one’s own personal space (she’s not telling him how to live his life).
* Tuning into your sexual partner through the art of telepathy isn’t quite like reading their mind, it’s more like reading their intentions [intention is focus of thought], and gives you a strong sense of what their most likely to do next.
* No, you cannot send sexual telepathic messages to someone to whom you’ve either never met before, or to someone with no interest in you. Using telepathy will not happen in a negative way or for personal gain, because the connection happens through the “God space”, so the connection is constantly being filtered through the positive. Sex is ego driven. Think of a phone-line between you and I, and that line travels through the “God space”. Anything that is not of God and complete love is filtered out, and what’s left is quiet, warm and fuzzy with maybe a hint of a personality.
* The only way for one person to pick up on sexual thoughts of another through telepathy, is if they both are currently a couple, and even then the messages are soft and quiet. Like the thought of them followed by a warm and fuzzy feeling.
* Unfortunately those interested in telepathic sex, are lacking in responsible emotional boundaries. They have forgotten how to use their words. To heal these wounds, one will realize that trust is more powerful than control.
* Sending telepathic messages are best sent by images with emotion, not by words spoken in the mind.
* Communicating to animals using telepathy is done through images. When you give a command to a dog using words or hand signals while also having images in your mind, they will be more responsive. An image attached to an emotion, so in your mind it becomes almost like a solid object, and the animal responds quickly.
* If you’re ingesting fluoride in any volume, it can slow your telepathic responses.

Telepathy is answered prayers.
If you’re tuned-in to your telepathy while looking at the people around you, there is nothing they can do to hide from you. Telepathy is a God-given talent that gives the (seer/listening/sensing/knowing…) the ability to see what is hidden, “no more lies”. If you remain quiet, then the truth remains hidden. However, the moment a story is spoken to divert you, and then the truth comes forward. If the seer is not looking, then it remains hidden. If the seer chooses not to look, then it will remain hidden, and all it takes is a peek and it all pops out into the open. Any form of lie or diversion brings it all out into the open.
Spirit/God gives the approval as to what is seen, it may not be in our best interest to see absolutely everything, and because this information travels through Spirit the message is gentle. As in not nasty in any way, shape or form. If it is nasty, it’s a projection through the ego-self. It may however come through as a warning, which is still a statement of truth. Truth is separate from judgment. Truth shows us “what is”.
There are other forms of bringing hidden information to light, all technology, all wisdom, all experience, and yes all hidden secrets are cataloged in the Akashic records. And there are methods that can be taught on how to get into those files.
God have had enough, “parties over, everyone out of the pool”! What was once hidden is no longer. Everyone has the ability for telepathy, because it lifts the veil of lies. However, not everyone has the ability for empathy, and the ones that do, have it at different degrees of it. We are here to have very specific experiences, and the ingredient within the personality molds the experience.

My blessings to you…

Still the best form of communication is a verbal face to face. Shoot from the hip, and tell it like it is.

Can A Karmic Relationship Work?

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Karma is in E-V-E-R-Y interaction, karma can be described as emotional history with other people, or ourselves. Karma can be seen as all those disruptive, angry and painful, need to be “right” places in our lives. Or karma can be that uncontrollable urge to put (her) so far up on that pedestal, that if she falls off she will never hit the ground. Meanwhile you’re in the mud, and you don’t care as long as she is up there. This is karma; the balance is seeing eye to eye. The balance is equally giving to yourself as much as you give to her, and through the practice of boundaries we begin to step into the ego-less relationship.
Karma is all those expressions that show us just how separated we are from God; karma is separation from God (or whatever your language is).

Karma is created when we become separate from “that” of which governs good-will in our lives. So karma shows us how far off our own designated path we are. When we are centered in who we are, and firmly on the path intended for us, then life moves on silk. When change happens, and life turns a corner without our knowledge, life can become sticky with drama. If we continue to avoid the ownership of our personal issues in our own lives, a lesson is created which we tenderly call karma.

Dark karma comes when we hurt another person in a personal way like a sex crime, or arrogance because we are unwilling to be emotionally responsible for our reactions. Killing on any level: Deliberately hurt someone for personal gain out of greed for one’s own position. Even the act of bulling. All of our responses from fear; anger, gilt, shame… Can and do create the drama of karma. Emotional suffering, which in itself is karma, and compassion is it’s balance. […and for those who don’t understand, compassion is not sexual.]
Each person’s life path is as unique as their fingerprint, as is the karmic lessons that confront us in this life. And through our many incarnations of life after life we all get to be the prostitute, or the murderer, or the spiritual master, or… We all get to experience the human reality in all its shades, and from it we all find forgiveness, compassion and personal empowerment from those life experiences. Then we’ve come full cycle back into God’s grace.

Karma is God’s tough-love to us.
Karma is a teacher, asking us in what ways can we be emotionally responsible.
Each person you feel a strong emotion for is a relationship that is dripping with karma. Whether it’s a lover, family, best-friend, boss, passer-by, any emotional interaction with people (lust or hate) expressed in a moment or throughout a lifetime. We can even have karma with ourselves, as in not honoring, acknowledging or standing up for ourselves when we feel the slightest hint of resentment, and therefore pushing us to find the need to return to balance for ourselves.
Karma holds you up against the other person in such a way that your experience of them is over-the-top intense. It holds you up against the wall or the other person, feet dangling in the air or floating in the clouds. Karma holds you there so you can’t move, forcing you to look at it. Karma gives you NO choice; it holds you there and has you face it!!! And the very moment you see the illusion in it, and you take back your power, it drops you. Then sets you free, and from there we find new relationships with new lessons and new opportunities for growth. Each lesson learned moves our soul toward wholeness and free from the drama of karma.

Ego plays a huge role in the understanding of karma. Most of the karma we come across is because of a unchecked ego and dysfunctional pride.
The ego-self and the god-self are complete opposites, and karma shows us just how extreme that is. Which part of yourself are you feeding, your ego-self or your god-self?

“Everything” that we think or do that is out of alignment with The Loving God is recorded and cataloged, and needs to be paid back with the balance of forgiveness and compassion. The action of this payback The Spirits call karma. Every thought, no matter how small that is out of alignment with God, every emotion that is out of alignment, every action, and every spiritual teaching that is out of alignment with The Loving God will be paid back as karma. Every place in our lives where God has been replaced by Ego creates a shock wave of karma, and that disrupts balance. So from the loving actions of our spiritual guidance, we are put into situations with opportunities to experience and see life differently, as to have the choice to resolve the issue with forgiveness, and cycle out of anger and back into compassion.
To those of us who have awoken to this truth, are serious in the ways that understands the very real consequences of karma, and the conscious journey of returning home to The Loving God.
The book set –“Course in Miracles”, teaches us how to open, transform and to live with the empowerment of the guiltless mind. Because only a guiltless mind can not suffer.

Karma that is seen as a beautiful thing we call dharma, as in being paid back for good deeds [good deeds seen by humans and good deeds seen by spiritual guardians can be two very different things].
Personal growth, as in removing the dysfunctional ego, brings balance toward spiritual freedom; spiritual love. Or the kind of dharma that comes through as devotion, or comes through generosity.
Creating good dharma comes from doing the right thing over the easy thing, and how that dharma comes back to you is up to your spiritual guardians. Simply because they know when you’re honestly acting from your heart, or when you’re just trying to gather points.

A simple way to understand karma is to see life as one big classroom, where karma is both the teacher and the lesson. A life of empowerment or enlightenment requires us to show up in class, pay attention to the lesson, doing our inner work of slaying our emotional dragons; transforming all our fearful reactions into loving responses, and have presence of mind to allow that lesson to affect our life in such a profound way, to empower and enlighten our experiences. As well as to empower the experiences of those around us.
Karma is taking us all back to school to move our lives forward, and it’s completely up to us to pass the class or come back in the next life to repeat it.

Bringing karma to completion does not mean ending the relationship, or that you fall out of love with them. It means transforming our awareness, and being responsible with our emotional reactions. It means being realistic about who’s in control of your happiness. As in keeping clear of your individual identity in all its forms; you’re not getting lost in the other person. So the other person is not responsible for making you happy, you are, and when you follow and stay in control of your own happiness, then your life is empowered. You’re following your own happiness and your lover is along for the fun, as you are for them. If at any time you step into and are a part of the decision of another person, you ask yourself “does this inspire and energize me”? A simple yes or no, and by following that “yes” you surround yourself with empowerment, and that keeps you clear of karma! For this to work for you, you have to truly be honest to yourself. So when I say “I can’t live without you”, I’m allowing my dysfunctional ego to create a wall. Not being able to live without you creates a dysfunction for me, because I’m shrinking my infinite loving space into fear. That fear of losing something (you). The bigger the fear the smaller the box in which I exist. All this because I allow ego to make my choices, and karma is the box and the wall. Letting go of this fear, I discover that I feel love whether I’m with you or not.
So, can a karmic relationship work? Yes, if you have the courage to venture into the realm of the ego-less relationship. Because if we look at this head on, we will see karma as ego, so therefor every bit of your life is your responsibility to shift out of all egoic patterns. The very minute you declare your relationship a disaster, is the moment you need to step out of it. Or back up, and look carefully at how you got there. Blaming the other person for your mistakes is an emotional cop-out, which just leads to more chaos and deeper karma”. To transform this disaster we have to look closely at the dysfunctions of our own ego. Which is described on the page Boundaries and Personal Power.

Karma teaches us how to heal from ego’s romantic love, with all its sacrifices; pain and suffering, hoping for something better, and dread “here we go again”. By doing our inner emotional work, as in learning to respond from love instead of fear [anger is fear under pressure], and overall giving command to the obedience of the Higher-self [the lower-self is ego and “poor me”, the higher-self governs our good will]. Which leads into the quiet waters of spiritual love, where support is granted for any direction you choose. Spiritual love is healed karma. “That” without attachments; “that” without conditions of love; “that” of a guiltless mind. The ego-less relationship is the action from this field of spiritual love, and almost completely karma free.
All this requires having good healthy boundaries, a strong sense of self-value, and by giving obedience to your higher-self / higher-power. Because karma will show us how much of a mess it can make when we are not practicing healthy boundaries or feel good about ourselves.

In the subject of relationships: karma is that excitement and rush he has in standing in her presence, and there’s nothing wrong with this. (She) finds him more exciting than that of which she feels for her own unique and special self; she forgets herself, and he becomes her reason for existing. This perspective turns you into a twisted heap of emotional mess, and for unknown reasons you’re not quite sure how you got there.
So by checking in with your own sense of “does this inspire and energize me” moment by moment, do we walk with balance. Karma can be harsh and karma can be gentle. Karma is one of those things we don’t see coming, we just open our eyes and find ourselves in it. If for some reason we can’t reach a resolve in our relationship, then maybe we’ll have to change our course with that person. It’s when we come back to clarity of thought, and compassion for them and ourselves is it complete. We still have to be smart as to how much we allow them back into our scared space; we can have compassion for them while they are over there. Bad karma comes as a sign when it becomes uncomfortable, and the interactions are no longer productive.
So by practicing boundaries and personal power, this reduces the karmic connection quite a bit. Because so much of karma has to do with a lack of connection to our sense of good-will. The practice of boundaries comes easy to those who have a good sense of personal value, and those who don’t like themselves very much find boundaries to be a waste of time.

When we have a personality clash with our lover and we can’t seem to get past it, or no-matter what terrible thing was said and horrific thing was done… We keep going back for more.
The act of “attraction” is divinely designed to hold you steady with that person, so the karmic lesson can unfold [that hot and steamy gaze holds your attention so the lesson can play-out]. I know this can be difficult to swallow. Just know that all love and hate relationships are moving in the direction through your personal growth for spiritual resolve. On its way to wholeness towards the ego-less relationship, which in itself is spiritual love; mature love. This is the master design of the direction of life in any realm… To complete the cycles of incarnations and return home to The Loving God.

Karma comes in ways other than just relationships. Many diseases like cancer are karmic. Anytime there is something that can’t be avoided and you have to go through the experience of it, is karmic. If you see yourself as the tree that cannot move and therefore are in an unavoidable situation, then simply become the tree and be present for the lesson. Slow down and let the lesson change you, even if it’s just a little bit. If you become bitter by this, you haven’t completed the lesson.

If we abuse someone [hard core abuse; physical (sexual), emotional, mental or spiritual abuse], we may come back, and or be on the receiving end of that abuse, in order to understand and come to the balance of compassion. The way to shorten that experience is to connect to compassion through the art of forgiveness. Compassion for yourself for ending up in this situation, and compassion for them for helping you to connect to the need to find balance in yourself, no matter how harsh it may seem. This does not mean that you stay in an abusive relationship. However, if you leave one abusive relationship, then find yourself in another one. Then through forgiveness, healing both that which is given, and that which is received we are then able to step out of that hardship.

  • Quantum Forgiveness
    To Your Self: I am spirit, my body is only an illusion, it has nothing to do with what I really am.
    To Other Person: You are spirit, whole and innocent, all is forgiven and released.
    Repeat this as often as the feelings arise, in a way that brings you back to compassion, and or back to an emotional neutral space.
    From the book collection -“A Course in Miracles”, by Helen Schucman, published by Foundation for Inner Peace.

The desire of having a relationship succeed comes because the attraction is So Great, and the experience can feel very powerful. Who wouldn’t want it to succeed? Karma’s one of those things that when we start to look at it, patterns begin to emerge that show the truth of it. Then when our conscious understanding moves beyond a certain point, we can no longer go back to our old understanding. A meaningful relationship operates from the ego-less environment, it comes from love not fear. So be mindful of what you’re reacting from, and what you’re giving your attention to, love or fear.

Wanting a karmic relationship to work, is a bit like thinking you can be your authentic self, while in the presence of the most beautiful person in the world to you. You may for the first 10 minutes, although by the end of the day you will become someone else. This nonalignment is deliberately designed by God to teach us non-attachment and impermanence by imperfection. Because in truth, only the God realm is perfectly permanent.
Karma is where we want to give to the other person more time, more love, more attention than “that” of which we are willing to give to ourselves, and karma shows us “that” imbalance. There is the obvious, and then there are the finer details. It’s all here to give us the opportunity to look and act with it in a different way, and bring it back into personal balance. Can’t behave the same way and get different results.

Pure devotion does not need to say that it’s being loyal, devotion is the automatic action of loyalty. If you need to tell someone that you’re going to be loyal to them, then you’re coming from a place of hesitation. Devotion as pure as it is, is still karma. If we sacrifice ourselves for the devotion of others, we create self-karma. This is what imbalance between giving to others and giving to ourselves looks like. Even though the ego will insist that you are worth much less, and other people deserve more than you have. So this is why we learn to tone down the dark character of ego, and learn to give our attention to the God-self. Our God-self is in fact in love with us, where the ego-self is not. So in learning to think and feel with our hearts, keeps us connected to our God-self and freedom from self inflicted suffering. (Our God-self has absolutely nothing to do with religion. It’s simply a higher awareness that puts us into a position of higher living.)

If we remove the accusing, the blaming, the judgments that what we find from the act of cheating because of misalignment. Cheating would not take place if genuine love is consistently present, and the cheater is experiencing inadequacies in themselves. Which personally has nothing to do with the other person, even though we would love to make them responsible for our hurt feelings? The Cave of Darkness

The ONLY way to experience love without karma, is to be without physical form and in the presence of God.
The closest thing to real love on Earth springs from the quiet waters of stillness, or spiritual love, this love has no attachments [conditions of love] to how long it will last, what direction it takes, or to whom it’s for. The practice of an ego-less relationship makes the defining edges of the relationship fuzzy, because trust is now automatic and “that” without question. An ego-less relationship is one in which you are constantly aware of the ownership and responsibility of your own emotional ego. Choosing an ego-less relationship is choosing love over fear. Transparency is the backbone of an ego-less relationship. No walls, no bars, no locks, and absolutely no pointing fingers. Therefore no miss communications; everything you feel is yours, everything they feel is theirs, therefore no miss communications.

This life for me is one in which I’m tying-up karmic loose ends, and will do whatever it takes to bring it to completion. Doesn’t mean that I’m not going to enjoy the experience, or that the love I express is not real. In my perspective love is so vast that it allows me space to support my partner [or family member, or friend, or… ] through her karmic issues, especially if that means working me out of her system, as she will with me. All paths lead to God, and karma is the block that falls across that path. So the love I feel for her, is that deep spiritual love and need to help her overcome that block. In the same sense I have this inner devotion for myself to overcome the karma that has been presented.

A karmic relationship is where our unbalanced ego has gotten involved in our interactions with other people. Jealousy is karma, and ego provides that experience. The reason for life on Earth is to learn to transcend ego, and step into God awareness no matter what that is for you.
Ending a karmic relationship means that you connect to the beautiful and unique YOU; as in coming into alignment with our higher-self or god-self, and in a profound way that wants you to be the master of your own direction. Only you can truly see you, and only you can truly know what you need. When we put the responsibility on someone to provide for us, we have created a situation that will fail, and drama is the result. Acting from personal power is living in empowerment of knowing the direction of your life is YOURS!!! Be in love with someone because they are fun to be with, and not because they complete you. ONLY you can complete you. For anyone else to do that, it’s just a guessing game. So in this, karma shows us what is illusion and what is truth, the illusion is made to be a difficult path to follow, and the truth is made to be easy. So pay close attention to those things that come easily into alignment.
It’s always your choice to ignore the messages of a karmic relationship, ignorance is bliss. However the truth of it is: the more conscious you become of the history and message of your karmic connection with your partner or yourself, the less easy it’ll become to ignore the actions that must follow. It’s God’s will that we learn and overcome. It’s up to you just when you arrive at God’s front door. Karma is a spiritual language to describe the process of growing into God.
The only one that can love you more than life itself is God, and because his love is not physical we search for it in other people. And karma is here to teach that there is only God. The only true validation comes from The Loving Spirits. When we seek validation in people, what we get is a projection from their emotional life experiences. This is divinely designed to not ever match your truth. And when we have gone as far as we can in the realm of empowerment… We find God. If the term “God” is not your flavor, use the one that does, or use Love In Action. In the world of love and god there is no “me and I”, there is only “we and us”
So the gift of life is to connect to and come into alignment with the God within you [at one with], that most precious gift that you are, above anything else, and when you both see this light in each other, then you have a match. When we see and connect to this, we are now empowered with the light of truth. Having a spiritual practice of daily god-connection lightens the physical matter that we are; it accelerates the vibrational frequency that we are. Think of a spinning disk, the faster it spins the less will stick to it, and our life-lessons or karma is the mud that wants to stick to it. So the more god-awareness we as individuals have, the shorter our journey becomes in finding our way home to The Loving God.
This does not mean ending the relationship by giving all of our attention to God, it simply means the quality of time spent in spiritual worship, and the quality time spent in sexual partnership is equally empowering. Personal guidance doesn’t come from the relationship it comes from the clarity of worship. “Spiritual attention is the balance to all ego’s chaos”.

Balance in relationships is where you are not pushed around by the emotional imbalance of others. Your connection to the higher frequencies of Source Energy keeps you in tune with the active responses of your happiness. You are aware of the unique you, and the direction those steps empower. When you are in that place in you, your relationships will reflect that attention given. It’s not about self-righteousness, it’s about ownership of your own inner and outer balance. Which in turn brings about depth and presences into all your relationships. We can’t just drift in relationships, and expect them to magically happen. We have to actively participate. Then from this practice the ego-less relationship begins.

Walking out the door, and out of that situation without cleaning out your emotional experiences of that past relationship; without clearing them out of your emotional field, will land you right back into that same situation again. Either with them or with someone like them. To learn this lesson and move beyond requires one to process that person out of your chaotic emotions, and into a field of compassion or neutral space. This takes time and practice. You can tell when you’ve moved through this, when they are no longer in your daily conversations. When every other person you meet doesn’t remind you of them, then there’s an expressed freedom of moving on.

In truth there are two realities in play: the ego with its greed, pain and suffering, or God awareness with its abundance, love and happiness, and all points in between. Through the many cycles of incarnations and karma, we’ve all passed through similar lessons, and even though the lessons are unique, the master design and plan is the same.

Blessings…

“If you suspect your spouse of cheating, and through revenge you find a way of using technology to spy on them. Karmically you’re still not learning the lesson; you’re still not standing with clarity of your direction for your integrity.
The moment you discover someone is cheating on you, you confront them, if it continues you turn your back on them and walk out the door! If you spy on them until you have something to wave in their face, then you are stooping to their level. This compounds the karmic connection. A path of revenge for them, and more importantly resentful suffering for yourself, lands you in the next life with them yet again! And maybe that time you get to be the man, and she still cheats on you again”!!! Cheating creates karma for them, when you engage in revenge then that karma also becomes yours.

In the movie “the Holiday”, Iris played by Kate Winslet is in a so-called relationship with Jasper played by Rufus Sewell. This is a classic example of a karmic relationship, and in its end shows one of the many wonderful ways to bring karma to its completion.

Notes:
* An attachment: are your conditions of love, “I will love you if you are this… “.
* Karma can push and pull at you in the same sense as an alcoholic who owns a bar / pub.
* Karma is a spiritual language that describes an opportunity for positive change. Karma Is NOT spiritual energy; karma promotes spiritual energy, for spiritual energy is your inner conscience, or your elevated awareness.
* Overcoming spiritual karma is remembering that you are always the student, and a very humbling experience.
* Overcoming relationship karma means to discover that “you are more precious to yourself, than your lover is to you”. And this standard becomes how you navigate all relationships. Only you know exactly what it is that you need, the other person is just guessing.
Giving into the urge to have sex with a karmic connection, keeps karma active. Shifting your attention away from sex and affection, and into self-empowerment / self-loyalty, or what “inspires and energizes you” separate from them… dims karma’s light and its hold on you. You’re in love simply because you find them fun and interesting to do things with, and not because they complete you. That part is what you’re in charge of.
* If you find yourself going through a lot of partners, or feeling as though partners are always leaving you. This is a sign that you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people; this is where your life has not followed change around the corner, and somehow you missed the signs and are now wondering around out in that cornfield. Returning to your path requires a change of course with the people and situations you surround yourself with, and karma is your compass. Ignore it, and it will become more challenging. Follow it and learn from it, and the painful karma will greatly soften and fade. If it doesn’t feel right, then learn to look at it with new eyes, and in a different way. Then learn to follow “that” with the actions that support it.
* How to burn through karma: When processing emotionally charged issues that we have no control over: By immersing ourselves in the emotion of it without getting caught up in the story of it, we can then choose to “feel” the experience of it, without engaging in the “expression” of it. By this we burn through the emotional charge [anger, resentment, guilt, regret… ], attachment or karma of that connection, and we begin to experience freedom from that issue, person or situation.
* The truth about karma: everyone has it and until you learn how to navigate it, it will pull and tug at you in ways that will keep you guessing. Karma is an intervention by God, and really… the only way through it or out of it is to turn and face it. Karma is your lesson to learn, and because it comes from the Loving Spirit of Truth, there is NO WAY for you to avoid it or dump it on someone else.
A truth about karma is it’s an issue that belongs only to you. If you have karma with (Bill); lover, friend, brother… , whatever the issue is, it is yours to work through, “Bill” is only here to show you just what the issue is, and if he has issues with you then that is his work to do. If you step outside the sacred circle of marriage and have an affair, you create the karma of honesty with your fling, the karma of loyalty with your spouse, and the karma of truth with yourself. It’s not about them, it’s all about you because it’s “your karma, your lesson, your healing”. It’s our ego that wants the other person to be responsible for our happiness and our karma, it’s not about them… it’s all on you. [(This is what I call “Hell on earth” even though it comes from pure love.)] The attraction you have is divinely designed so you will not be able to avoid the lesson. Understanding and learning how to navigate karma is learning how to see the forest through the trees; or understanding the secret mystery of life.
What Spirit is trying to teach us through the lessons of karma, is that we as individuals are very precious and the only true relationship is with God. Any human relationships are a borderline mess. When we live in the empowerment of an ego-less relationship and practice healthy boundaries life comes at us with joy, and when we follow this path off the map… we find God. And that dear one is us coming full cycle. The closer we are to God, or “the action of God”, the further we are from ego.
* Karma is God’s way of holding us accountable for our own emotional reactions with others – past and present.
* If you are in an abusive relationship, the way out is to openly and often “out loud” express independence from them [gentle yet firm]. And by doing this you step into empowerment. When your expressions are centered; not angry, they are more productive
* All karma is in situations that give you that “can’t live without” feeling or that “can’t live with” feeling in relationships. Being with someone who doesn’t see or understand you is a relationship divinely designed just for you to heal and overcome this issue. To take this precious love you have for someone who doesn’t see you, and give it to yourself instead. This is where we stop being a servant to others and start being a servant to ourselves. When you see your own self in a finer light than anyone else can, then you’ve crossed over into personal empowerment. And once you’ve crossed over, the relationships that you allow in your life, will treat you the way you do for yourself or better. Anytime someone treats you from a place of “less than”, then a boundary is created.
* Understanding karma gives us the knowledge and wisdom to navigate incarnations more quickly, and when we take this inner work to heart we discover short-cuts in the path leading home to God.
* Navigating karma requires one to pay attention, gently doing your inner emotional work. Letting go of anger, guilt, and shame or… and creating peace within yourself, about any given situation that pushes your emotional buttons. Then surrounding yourself [not them] with empowerment. Karma takes us away from, or out of balance with self empowerment. And as we learn to surround ourselves with self empowerment, we draw in relationships or situations of balance!
* When we are pushed into feelings of death, because we feel that is the only way out. When in truth the part of us that needs to die is NOT the physical body, it is a part of the emotional body that needs a cleansing. As we go through adolescence we adopt behavioral traits that help us to survive that transition, and all those emotions that come with the explosion of the chemistry in our bodies. However as we move into adulthood, we no longer need those survival traits. In fact, survival traits and a deep meaningful relationship don’t match, to have one we have to let go of the other.
So when we have a need to die, it is really Spiritual Guidance coming forward to remind us of what it is that no longer serves us, that needs to fall away; needs to die. It’s a gentle transitioning in our behavior.
A need to commit suicide is our spiritual self asking us to change our emotional environment; the people we hang out with, changing the situation so it comes into more alignment with who you are becoming. It’s time for a change of scenery; it’s time to upgrade, and create space to come into alignment with your calling.
* Gay men are learning how to navigate and process emotional/sensitivities.
Gay women are learning how to navigate and process power/emotions.
* Karma doesn’t care whether you want to do this or not. Your soul needs to learn this lesson to overcome this issue, and have this experience so it can take the next step along its journey.
* The truth in all of this is that karma is everywhere; it’s a description of the process of learning. It’s when we get caught up in the finer details in such a way that it holds us back from living, and then we know we are taking this all too seriously.
***
To make a relationship work takes focus and attention. Love and passion are something that needs nurturing and space to grow, all relationships need breathable space; time together and time with friends. Keep talking about the things that matter, pay attention to the things that don’t work, and continue asking yourself “what is it that I can do with you, that is positively different from yesterday”?

By having karma with him, she is out of balance with herself. She forgets all so easily what her personal hopes and dreams were, and he becomes everything for her. Karma shows us the extreme of this imbalance.

By asking questions of karma we step into a new light, “a soul-mate is a classmate in the school of soul”. Peering through this window we see karma as a path in the realm of Soul… an understanding coming together for the progression of our soul’s journey.

If you want this to be your last life on Earth, if you want to end all karma no matter what soul age you are, and if you want the short-cut in returning home to God. Have the practice of seeing God in EVERYONE. Learn the lesson of compassion.
Learn to walk away from hate, and learn to love instead of fight.
If there are people in your life who push your emotional buttons then the only true path through that relationship is forgiveness… forgiveness without judgment. And if all else fails and you still can’t get past the conflict, then step away from them and away from the situation through the act of self-loyalty.

*** Quantum Forgiveness
When You Feel Judgment to Yourself: I am spirit, my body is only an illusion, it has nothing to do with what I really am.
When You Feel Judgment to the Other Person: You are spirit, whole and innocent, all is forgiven and released.
Repeat this as often as the feelings arise, let this become a mantra in your mind.  From the book series -”Course in Miracles”
Reading the book –The Course in Miracles will help to open your mind and move you faster along this path.

Continue on: The Karmic Path or Karmic Relationship?

It’s A Guy Thing

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There is an instinctual response men have when we hear her wants and desires. Men immediately go into build and provide mode when we hear what tickles her fancy, and we will rearrange our lives even to the point of looking like a complete idiot. This response for the most part is very unconscious.
If a woman in his life is very important to him, and he hears her say something along the lines of wanting decadence in her life. He will go to such extremes to rearrange his life to acquire such wealth. He will spend every penny he has to go after that big Jackpot, and more often than not, this behavior will continue throughout his life, even if she is no longer with him.
Women LOVE this about men; a man’s ability to protect and provide, on all levels easily and effortlessly. However guys need to stay focused with providing what they are good at, and not getting lost in all of her detailed desires. This guy thing needs to be something we know about ourselves, especially if we are seeking that inner balance. A value that is expressed through the balance of giving to others and giving to ourselves. Because this is instinctual, the change of creating that balance can be achieved through the consistent practice of catching yourself in it, then, without judgment shift the pattern. Instinctual behaviors are tricky that way, different from emotional behaviors that can be simply changed by changing your mind.
In relationships, this is not about him getting his own way. This is all about shifting the awareness into giving from a higher conscious awareness, so there’s more meaning and depth in the giving, and not so ego driven or driven by chemistry.

As we shift into those higher fields of love and gratitude, we shift away from instinct and into intuitive responses. Because as a species we no longer need to be concerned with so much survival. The world is shifting into those higher fields of frequency with or without us. We can either choose to move with it, by which we govern our responses appropriately and become apart of it. Or we find a way to leave.
A higher conscious awareness is easy to obtain, simply focus on behaviors that create a win-win.

My blessings to you…

Transparency

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055There’s great power of trust, which leads to devotion in showing vulnerability in a relationship, and this becomes a blissful experience when the two of you are participating together. This is not something you want to show at a bar or pub, and this is not the kind of vulnerability that comes when we’re in the middle of the road. This is when we share our tender side to our lover. This activity has a completely new landscape when we learn to tone down the ego [I can’t begin to describe how destructive the ego can be in relationships]. Practicing this level of sharing becomes second nature when we learn to tone down the ego. Part of living in empowerment is to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to be willing to show and share your mental/emotional tenderness. It’s about sharing your inner truth… About what really turns you on. It’s about diving deep into our passions, and sharing what we think makes our lives tick. And sometimes sharing our vulnerability can be about revealing our imperfections. However, what deepens the connection is a willingness to learn the value of honesty, and how being transparent leaves no holes for miss-communications. Relationships that fall apart are ones that lack this essential ingredient, as an ongoing practice. When we fall into the rut of routine, of thinking with that “faults sense of security”, as in thinking a relationship is solid. That you think you know each other well enough to let go of the reins. When in truth relationships are fluid, they change and evolve as you grow, heal and become. So if we have the practice of being transparent moment by moment we become fluid as well. It’s when we lose touch with this flow and drift apart, and before you know it there’s nothing to connect with. We invest so much of our lives hiding from our feelings and our emotions, and where has it gotten us? There’s great empowerment from acknowledgement when embracing the responsibility of vulnerability. Showing tender, sensitive places with your partner, and allowing yourself to be transparent can be a very powerful experience for the both of you, because it creates such warm trust. This action also creates a wonderful stage for self-discovery and self-realization. Which that in itself open doors of trust.
If we shut down vulnerability because we don’t want to experience fear, anger or guilt, we will also shut down love, joy and gratitude. Because they are all part of the wholeness that we are. By embracing the wholeness that we are, we are acknowledging a willingness to express what’s under the surface. That place where original wisdom emerges. When both lovers have this level of trust in sharing and supporting each other, and we learn how to tone down the ego, the relationship begins to loose its defining edges. Because trust becomes automatic [trusting completely, we show no feelings of jealously]. When we connect to this early in a relationship, we set the stage for knowing what’s to come in life’s quiet moments.
When men are able to walk this path they discover devoted women beside them, and women following this path find men that want to build *metaphoric castles around them. This path requires both to participate, so this takes two when expecting to find that deep rich connection that we’re told exists in long-term relationships. How important is it to be transparent in a relationship, well how far and how expansive do you want your relationship to be? Every step we take in opening to each other we find deeper levels of connection and intimacy.
Being comfortable with being emotionally transparent creates incredible connection and trust, then clarity of devotion becomes the wave we ride. The masculine isn’t strong unless he is also vulnerable. This means he can tell you what he wants, when he’s afraid, how you make him feel, what he did that he’s made amends for, what he’s overcome, or what brings him to his knees. Without transparency, there can be no genuine intimacy, that ingredient that makes sex remain sexy when the initial high of infatuation dissipates.

Practicing and sharing a healthy vulnerability is one of those things that require focus and attention. In my journey through this, I discovered when I had the focus of toning down the ego. Therefore practicing an ego-less relationship my tender side had more freedom, and being transparent was no longer scary. Because when we overly identify with the ego everything is scary, even though we wouldn’t show it on the surface. It’s still the reason to hide. Remove the ego and the dance of transparent intimacy empowers your relationship into the infinite realms of light.

* Metaphoric castles: is intimate emotional support, or intimate spiritual support. Something intimate your lover does for you that no one else does. It’s something that is built upon, and becomes a quality of relating, a side dish or added ingredient in the relationship that is carefully constructed just for you by your partner.

My blessings to you…

Notes:
I need to be very clear: Self empowerment happens because it’s coming from your choices; your self-awareness. When someone else needs you to behave a certain way to complete their needs, and you have to act outside of your comfort zone to make that possible. Then you need to know that, that kind of vulnerability comes from their control, and you’re stepping into their realm of domination if it serves you, or manipulation if it doesn’t serve you.
Out of this, I want you to act as if this is the only life you get to live. This is how we find empowerment.

Eyes Wide Open

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In finding a partner who can spiritually, intellectually and emotionally as well as challenge, nurture, and enrich us, means looking at people and relationships with eyes wide open. If the attraction is hot, then we know the sex is going to be great. However, for the other 21 hours in the day, it helps to choose someone who also brings a similar depth, quality and attention to detail into the relationship, as you do with your own life.

Eyes wide open simply means to have an awareness of who you are, who you want to become, who you want beside you, and what’s happening in your immediate environment. The quality we have comes from how much attention we give to this. If we want to raise that bar it requires us to show up (be active in planning and decisions), pay attention (listen carefully to how the words/actions are spoken) and be present (bring the awareness of mind into the room when people are around). If you’re day-dreaming while someone is talking to you, then you’re not being present.
Eyes wide open gathers information that is useful in moving peacefully for one’s own direction, it also gives leadership for the well-being of our happiness.
When sharing a life with someone, eyes wide open is in having courage to look into those dark hidden corners, and ask those questions that maybe difficult to talk about when searching for the deeper answers. Eyes wide open can also mean that for everyone either sleeping under your roof or in your bed, their business has become your business. Making sure that you’re informed, and not taken by surprise by secrets, or unforeseen environmental influences. It can also mean that you choose to think for yourself, and not always take on the fears and insecurities of others.

With eyes wide open the quality of attention that a person gives to their own spiritual, intellectual and emotional life, they will also bring to the relationship.
(When I interview someone for a job I’m doing, I will first look at the quality of how they keep their car. Is it clean inside, is it well maintained? The quality of their vehicle is in direct relationship to their own inner life. How much attention they give their vehicle is the depth of attention I’ll see on the job, generally speaking.)
So in choosing a partner, it helps to see with eyes wide open beyond the sex, and into their own interpersonal relationships with their environments. Because in a love relationship, “you become their environment”.

My blessings to you…

Ego-less Relationship

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Spring 2014 001
Practicing boundaries with anyone, will show you in a very short time, if and where a relationship / partnership is sturdy, and what the two of you truly have in common as in personal values. The intensity of the union in romantic love, gives little room to find and act from your separate self. We give up our trust and look to them to make us happy, then we become lost in the other person all so easily. Or to become enmeshed in the other person; moving as one.
Healthy boundaries creates room to breath, enough-so to allow your own individual passions and interests separate from them to flourish. By removing the ego, we find a love for our partner that is free. As in wanting to do special things with this person because they’re fun, and not “needing” them to complete us.

Relationship is to romance, as partnership is to companionship. Romance has a shelf-life, and that life may last up to two years or until you finally let your guard down, then it all matures into partnership. A lot of changes happen during that shift. Our chemistry quiets and softens, and the authentic self comes out to shine. The practice of the ego-less relationship creates incredible meaning and depth, however for it to do so we must show up, pay attention and participate.

Following our own happiness while practicing the ego-less relationship transforms our awareness, gives our life more permission to want to remove the dysfunctional ego, which in itself clears our perceptions. By being realistic about who’s in control of our happiness, and keeping our ego in check we’re not getting lost in the other person. So the other person is not responsible for making us happy, we are, and when we follow and stay in control of our own happiness, then our life is empowered. We’re following our own happiness and our lover is along for the fun, as we are for them. If at any time we step into and be apart of the decision of another person or our lover, we ask ourselves “does this inspire and energize me”? A simple yes or no, and by following that “yes” we surround ourselves with empowerment, which fills our self-love tank, and that keeps us clear of drama! For this to work for us, we have to show up and pay attention, and truly be honest to our self as we hold ourselves in balance.

The ego-less relationship is one in which you have become aware of the incredible drama, that an unbalanced ego can create. As we pull away from the dysfunctional ego, we find support in the nurturing of the wholeness with one’s self. Taking time to learn what a dark ego looks like, then what wholeness looks like, is time well spent (ego is described in detail on the page Boundaries and Personal Power). Because there’s no space like free space in a drama-free relationship. Each person’s sense of “wholeness” is different from the next. It’s that inner feeling of completion, where the inner balance is fed by self-awareness / self-love / self-loyalty, and we no longer need another person to fill that void. Spirit/God connection is another place that can fill that void better than a person can, because there’s not all that failed expectations, and drama around conditions of love.
Unfortunately most people don’t understand what balance without drama even looks like, because drama is such a natural way of relating for them.
Drama: is attaching emotional story to any situation. Pointing fingers, as in “he said… she said…”. An excuse is a story. Or what the other person is not doing “right”, is a story.
Without drama: the past is gone and the future’s not here yet. All that’s worth living for, happens right now, and the only person in control of that moment is you.
* Ego is you jumping into my face about issues you want me to change, when in fact the only thing you have control over is “you”.

The ego is apart of the Self; very much apart of the physical experience. When the human body dies, the ego stays with the body. Because the ego is the personality of the mind, in the same sense that your heart’s character is the personality of your Spirit.
When we are showing something like jealously, that’s the ego having a temper-tantrum. The ego wants to be in control, and it will manipulate your feelings to do so. The ego and the heart cannot control the body at the same time, you have to consciously choose who is going to run the show. The one you give the most attention to-love or fear, is the one that unfolds the circumstances of your life.
Ego is not something we can turn off completely, we can however learn how to tone it down, and this is done by turning and facing it. “I see you and understand you. I have received and learned the lessons from you, but I am done now. You are no longer in control of this body. I release you now”. Then open the heart to yourself, and learn how to think and process life through the heart center.
With your finger: draw a lite center line from the top of the rib cage to the bottom, and where you feel the most sensitive is where your heart chakra is. Sometimes putting a small piece of tape on that location will draw your attention to that location when doing heart meditations, or when you want to shift the thinking to the heart instead of the mind.

The ego-less relationship is one of transparency; nothing is hidden, nothing is secret, and their business becomes your concern. The only thing you may keep to yourself is your inner relationship with (God); prayer and the way in which you pull in ($) abundance into your life.
If you ask a question and your partner is reluctant in telling you, then they are hiding something. The ego-less relationship shatters all those walls, and the empowerment of transparency shines through. Honesty has to be open; honest actions, different from telling them every single little detail about one’s life. It’s when honesty partners with loyalty; it’s more in the action of it than in the word of it. As in, from this moment forward my actions with her will reflect the integrity I am. Along with being considerate about all your coming’s and going’s for love to penetrate all corners of this relationship. No bars, no locks, therefor no holes for miss communications that create misunderstandings. Cheating happens because (he) didn’t have the balls to set her free before shifting gears to someone different. Or having the courage to work through with her what hurts.

* The ego-less relationship puts us in the driver’s seat, so-much-so that we become completely comfortable in being responsible for the direction and well-being of our own life, love, financial wealth, and emotional freedoms. We find joy in the responsibility because for the first time we are experiencing a freedom.
* Our responsibility extends well into every emotional reaction that can possibly be thought of, or even something that happens to you by the consequences of what another person is doing. It’s your responsibility to pick and choose your interactions with others, or your level of involvement-how much of your precious attention you give. If someone is mistreating you, it’s your responsibility to state a boundary, or step away from them. Because only you know how much you can handle.
* When you have an emotional reaction towards someone or a situation, and you deal with those emotions on your own. Then you don’t engage in the drama with your partner, while stumbling through in trying to navigate your own happiness. (Boundaries and Personal Power, the section on Processing)
When they have an emotional issue with you, you simply create a boundary for them to process somewhere else other than on you. This keeps the relationship clean of all ego distortions. If you are blaming the other person for your unhappiness, either change your ways or chance loosing what you have. Instead of blaming the other person for our unhappiness, we take ownership of those feelings, and therefore what is expressed to our partner is always clean.
If we took time at the end of the day to process all the feelings of the experiences of the day, without dumping it on each other, we would have a much better sleep. A bad night’s sleep happens simply because the subconscious is processing all of the day’s emotions in the dreamscape, and sometimes those wild emotions can keep us awake. A 20 minute walk will clear out of the body an entire day of stress. Everyone especially teenagers need a daily event of physical activity.
“I had a woodpile to get me through my emotions. Cut, spit and stacked 14 cord of firewood a year, and that got me through the emotional chaos of high school”.   

* Friends are here to help with the processing of life’s emotions, or we process while exercising, yoga or meditation. Anything that feeds our quality of life that doesn’t require another person or too much heavy thinking is a healthy avenue for processing. When processing life, our lover is not an emotional dumping ground. Your partner maybe there to hold the garbage bucket for you to dump into, they are however, not there to become the bucket. Those charged emotions are dealt someplace else other than face to face with them. If for some reason we can’t get past an issue with somebody or any given situation, then we go off by ourselves for a walk or anything that keeps the mind idle and the hands busy. Then give that person or situation a little space so we can process through it, and come back to clarity. Processing back to clarity effectively happens mostly through the subconscious mind. To do this it helps to turn off the emotional story. That’s why we “walk it off”, or any activity that gives that emotion a constructive instead of destructive expression. Having the ability to own all our issues, this includes all of our unhappy feelings and emotions that have accumulated in the course of the day. It’s a relationship of responsibility, and this direction really does keep the relationship clean.
If you need help in understanding an approach to a situation, it’s appropriate to talk about it, without emotion. As in talking about the facts about how “you feel”, different from what the other person is doing or not doing. Talk about the situation from your side and ask “what can I do today that is positively different from yesterday”. The moment emotion comes into it, it becomes an emotional dumping ground, and that is drama and very destructive on relationships. By taking drama out of a relationship, what is naturally replaced, is support that comes from your god-self instead of your ego-self.

Self-love is enriched by the ownership of the clarity in understanding that your bad feelings about someone else are still your feelings, and therefore your responsibility to control. They don’t do it to you. you allow it to happen to yourself. The art of boundaries allows a person to create a protective shield around one’s self, that gives the other person space to expressing themselves without it effecting you.

All your feelings belong to you, they are your responsibility to manage, and all his feelings belong to him. A boundary is created to protect yourself from the ill will of others. If he is angry with you and dumping his ill will on you, you create a boundary that says “stop, you go deal with those feelings through a different avenue than through me”. Even if you were wrong, he doesn’t have the right to dump on you. He is upset about something you did, and it is up to him to create a boundary so that doesn’t happen to him again.
Through this process we either end the relationship or we look closely at the ego, and learn to park our pride. When choosing to own and manage our dysfunctional ego, we open the door to the trust of transparency and the ego-less relationship begins.

When looking at this for the first time we think it’s completely crazy! “At what point does the other person take responsibility for what hurts me”?! Anything that hurts me: “This is a boundary of mine, please don’t do that again”. If it continues, you give them space, and you let them know your giving them space by consequences of your happiness. If telling them is not enough, then more space is given. Even if you end up moving out of the house. It’s not about you teaching them to be responsible for their own emotions, it’s about you following your own happiness. Otherwise you become their emotional doormat and babysitter. [If someone says they’re going to change for you, that is not possible. It takes a huge amount of energy to hold the line of change for someone else, and it takes little to no effort when changing for yourself.]
This also goes both ways as you are responsible for your emotions, by which they are to theirs. Your emotions came from you, you created them, and through responsibility you get to decide what to do with them. If you have a “feeling” that the world is out to get you, it is still “your” feeling, your creation, and your opportunity for change. “This is what I mean by inner work”.
“The healing power of positive thoughts, stimulates motivating words, sprouts persistent actions, and therefore creates the amazing environment around you”.

Living with ego is addictive, because it’s very easy to point fingers and say “you’re the reason why my life is a living hell”!!! To point fingers is instant emotional gratification. However this does not build trust, it shreds it, and the relationship begins to unravel. Your partner is no longer someone you share love with, they’re someone you share complaints with, and the fun goes right out the window!
If I want different results in myself or in a relationship, I know I have to be different to get something different. I can’t behave the same way and get different results.
Looking at this with eyes wide open is time well spent. [The same goes for running a business.]

Choosing an ego-less relationship is the persistent focus and attention in looking into the light and away from ego, and to tap into those qualities of higher living. This kind of relationship only works if the both of you play together, because if this practice is one sided the both of you will grow apart very quickly. An ego-less relationship requires a willingness for inner growth, along with a persistence for follow-through. And the rewards are very liberating and have everything to do with living in empowerment. Because by empowering yourself, you also empower your partner with the same enthusiasm, and life affirming affirmations.
In stripping away the responses of the ego, we rekindle an expressive connection with the heart. The qualities of this freedom will be slightly different for each person, because of your own unique perceptions, and the quality of relationship you choose to lead.
The practice of an ego-less relationship brings forth a remarkable freedom of honesty. Making the defining edges of the relationship fuzzy, because trust becomes automatic. Where love and trust become so entwined that we can’t tell them apart.

Most relationships operate with love through love, which becomes almost unbearably sweet, and it’s loaded with conditions. An ego-less relationship operates with love through trust, where trust becomes the pivot point. When trust becomes unconditional, then there’s no jealously, and no withholding in anticipation of something falling apart. Then the relationship supports an environment where it’s safe for expressing vulnerability. And because of trust, love now has space to breathe, and room for deeper expressions.
The ego-less relationship and spiritual love are one in the same thing. Spiritual love is open and free, we step into the relationship because it feels right, true and important. Not at all like that uncontrollable hot and steamy attraction felt in high school. And if for any reason we need to change course with that person, we thank them for the adventure and move on to the next. There’s not all that drama in the separation of parting ways, because spiritual love really doesn’t experience separation. Parting ways is a gratitude for the experience, lessons and adventure of time well spent. Your Ex is someone you remain friends with, because we can continue to see the value beyond what doesn’t work.
The quality of communication with a couple who practice the ego-less relationship is very transparent, creating no loopholes for miss-communications. It naturally removes 98% of the emotional pain that drama drags into relationships.

If we start boundaries part way into a relationship, it helps to have a good foundation of trust and communication, because the dynamics of the relationship are about to change. When (he) is use to having the final decision, for the family’s direction, it will be quite a change for him to shift into a co-created relationship. Sharing that control may bring up all sorts of push-me pull-you’s in the dynamics of an established relationship, especially in a relationship where one is more dominate than the other. So tread softly, work into it slowly, persistently talking about your needs, and what brings you happiness.
It’s not the fault of anyone for wanting more. Disrupting the dynamics of a relationship every now and again is a good thing, for it keeps the relationship from going stale and getting lost in those routines. It reminds us that relationships without trust are rigid, and ones with trust are very fluid and transforming.

Most people live on the edge of trust. As in using the word “trust”, without  fully understanding what it’s like to do it. When we express jealousy, we are showing to the world that we don’t trust, and how fragile our love really is. “How many people do you know who talk about trust-and express jealousy”? Trust is the backbone in an ego-less relationship; it’s the keystone that holds it all together. Jealousy is a red flag telling us that they don’t fully understand how to remove ego, and replace it with trust.

When something comes to us easily and effortlessly, then we’re in alignment. Or if we’re fighting for that connection, then we’re out of alignment. So when a person takes the time to understand what a dysfunctional ego looks like through the practice of boundaries, and the patience of alignment. This person will then be able to see, and pick out of the crowd more easily the partners that are more in emotional alignment with themselves. We gain the clarity of eyes that see and a mind that understands, and from that a standard is born. By which our reactions with others have more meaningful depth, “it’s no longer just because they’re cute”.

The ego-less relationship brightens the path by reminding us of what it is that we are bringing to the table in this relationship. It becomes the depth and breath of our own presence, and from that we find something deeper like the ability to hear, and understand what one’s partner’s needs are moment by moment to grow and blossom, without loosing that sense of our own self. It becomes a win-win. “This is the path less traveled”.

My blessings to you…

Being in Tune with Your Partner

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Everyone has something that they put themselves into, a passion, a hobby, a career… Being in tune with our partner is knowing what they need to thrive, and supporting them in making that happen. This makes you the most wanted person on the planet. This practice is consistently on going, and like good wine it gets better with time. This pours into all forms of life; personal, sex, family, home, friends, spiritual practice…
She loves to tend plants, so I build flowerbeds. She processes some of her life through color. So she picks out the color, and I paint the room. And when she crashes emotionally, she knows my gentle strength is there for her support. Happy partner, thriving relationship. Helping her to process by supporting her to be the best she can be, and at her speed. I know she knows what she needs, I don’t have to guess. Or simply knowing when to be quiet, as in not having to fix everything she speaks of.
Intimately knowing her love language, the culture she’s accustom with, the family dynamics she grew up in, what her personal growth curve is, her spiritual goals, and out of all that what she values from me different from what I think.
The instincts of women is that they are information gathers and supreme nurtures, and that’s what makes them so valuable to men. The same would be said for men: beyond his protection he also provides the space and vehicle for her creativity. The more he knows about her, and is consistently attentive to her needs, the more valuable he becomes as a mate to her.

My blessings to you…

Notes:
Be mindful of your own sense of personal boundaries. Give as much as you’re willing to give, or the resentment will shred what you’re trying to build. Follow the happiness of what you’re providing. Pace yourself, we’re not building Rome in a day. A little goes a long ways. However be very mindful of the Plans and Promises that are spoken of.
Remember: this needs to be consistent all the way through your relationship. The quality of what you did to win her heart in the beginning of your relationship, needs to be consistent all the way through to the end. When she says “I do”, it keeps going. When you stop, the relationship and her trust begins to unravel. Women need this support all the way through their lives for a healthy relationship, just like how the masculine needs physical and emotional attention all the way through his life.
Know their love-language, because if he speaks a different language than what she needs to experience, she won’t get her needs met. The love-language that your partner needs, needs to be something that’s easy for you to give. This is part of “do we match”? And if not, then it’s necessary to find a balanced way of receiving that need through another avenue. This is always done through communication with your partner, so they are in on the discussion, and part of the decision.
The love-languages are:
words of affirmation, (affection)
physical touch,
acts of service,
quality time,
and gifts.

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