021What draws us together and has us fall in love with a person? In observing my fellow bloggers, I see the attraction being very sexual. Then I watch them trying to carve out a practical, functioning relationship that is based on hot, steamy sexuality. What makes a relationship work is temperament in personality, and something that is nearly ignored because the sex is so great. Sex is the bonus and should be the last thing on the list when looking for a quality life-mate. More importantly what we need to experience with our mate, before we say “I do”, is their disagreeable side. Everyone has one, and it’s so important to have a strong grasp on whether or not that is something you can handle for a lifetime.
* How they deal with anger, and more importantly, how they “deal with you” while angry.
* With the conflict: are they responsible with their own emotional reactions by practicing boundaries, or do they insist that it’s all your fault for their unhappiness.
* In the area of sex, some people have a very crude understanding of the sensitivities that need to be shared in sexuality.
* Marriage in the 18 and 1900’s made complete sense, simply because things moved at a slower pace, and it took us a lifetime to process through our emotional issues with our partner. Today, things move so much faster, we process through our emotional issues so much more quickly. Staying in a marriage requires us to have eyes wide open, to build our communicative skills, and to learn as much or more about ourselves then we do about our partner.
* Relationships have a modal that they follow: first is the romance; pure chemistry, designed to pull you both together. Then that shifts into partnership, where 78% of the chemistry fades, and honest love shines it’s radiance. And for some, in our latter years companionship shows it’s true colors.
An amazing amount of people get married before the relationship has a chance to shift into partnership [up to 8 months], because when it does the intensity really changes. If you’re someone who loves change, then this will be fun for you.
These are a few of the responses you want to experience before marriage.
Very few people have the Will of heart to see beyond love, beyond sex, to see if and where a relationship is sturdy. If it’s not working, then simply bless them and let them go, and continue the search for the right one. Asking the right questions, patiently waiting for the response, and having the courage to only say “yes” to the one that passes the grade.
Every single relation/connection with people has an alignment: if your angry with the world, your alignment with this person is one in which they will mirror to you what needs to be healed. If you fall in love with someone in which “you feel” is not quite right and you do it anyway, the connection will show you why it’s so important to give attention to your intuition/gut feeling/inner voice. Alignment made manifest, and so it is.
A healthy and meaningful marriage today requires eyes wide open. This is not just a concept in one’s mind, this is seeing them act it out. If (he) does not shift his awareness, and curb his actions to match your needs, then it may not be in him to do so. Having eyes wide open means less will take you by surprise.

May your search be swift and true.
Blessings…