Long time ago in my youth I had the wonderful opportunity and experience of working through a one-sided karmic relationship. Her brother had been one of my best friends since grade school. So this issue came to surface at a young age, and it wasn’t till my mid teens did I start to gather information as to why this was happening. The story’s not important, what is important is how I got through it.
When you have an attraction for someone who doesn’t know you exist, or you’re not her dating type, and there’s nothing you could do or say that would get her on the same page. I spent years being overly kind, going way out of my way to do special things for her, and all the while little did I know this attraction was digging a pit so deep I could hardly see out.
One day I found myself living in the same house with her, as if my spirit guides came forward and said “it’s time to deal with this”. Her parents had passed away, the most of her siblings had moved out, and her elderly Grandfather was also living there. I was living at home which happened to be across the street. No one in her family had any experience in taking care of an elderly person. Well I did, I had a short conversation with her Grandfather [he was 92], and moved in the following day. I helped him with meals, bathing, harvested his garden with/for him, processed firewood and kept the house heated throughout the winter. I also learned a lot about life through his death. He passed away that following spring. I was only there for that winter; I left shortly after he passed. Later I discovered that, that was a soul contract between him and I; a supported experience. Anyway…
In my spare time I did woodcarving in the basement, and through it learned to channel that crazy attraction for her into a creative outlet. I would also channel those crazy unsettled emotions through the action of splitting firewood. Having a physical creative outlet became essential, because it was either that or become an alcoholic. That energy has to be expressed somewhere.
She was going to college, which was just 20 miles away, and to save money she lived at home.
At the time that I moved in I had a clear picture of our karmic past connection; the complete story, and I knew with every fiber of my being there was no way we were ever going to get together. Well I still had this powerful attraction for her, so what to do with this!
Well I would choose a time when everyone was out of the house, sit quietly without TV or music and allow this attraction to come and fill me, then create a story in my mind of her walking out of my life. Through this I would allow this immense sadness to flow through me, hours of crying, weeks of this process [if you stuff tears, the next emotion to come is anger and rage, and anger is fear under pressure. Anger keeps us stuck in the story, and story brings out judgment which will hold you back in that destructive pattern]. When the tears begin to dry up, then it’s time to start the next process of letting go; the process of forgiveness.
The process of letting go is to see in all the ways in which the two of you are different from each other. The person of whom I’m becoming is SO different from who she is and where she’s going, and through my love I set myself free to fly. Ending the cycle happened when she came full circle years later, and wanted to engage with me romantically, and I gently turn her down. At that moment when I had decided to end the cycle of tears and finally stepped away… The karma was then finished.
Completing this cycle by ending this karma: all relationships since then have been 1000 times more vibrant and rich. When we clean up the karma in a relationship, we discover what has been the very reason that’s kept us from connecting to those deep meaningful relationships we so desire.

Instead of looking for an opening with this person, you want to be looking for closure, and more importantly you want to be looking for that place in you in which you’re okay and ready to let go of this weight you’ve been carrying. Learning to find closure instead of connection is a lot like the process of learning to see the forest through the trees.
Ending this kind of karma either happens consciously which takes focus and attention, or you come back in your next life and deal with it then. For me I went through four life-times and committing suicide each time out of emotional pain before choosing to end this cycle (Suicide: to be or not to be). Closure happens when you come into alignment with your truth; when you connect to the freedom of your authentic self, while declaring independence from them.
Karma can be seen as the chains that hold us back from self empowerment in expression. The heavier the karma, the less freedom of authentic self-expression. To step out of karma and back into empowerment, we practice removing the dysfunctional ego from our daily living, and this is a practice. As we remove ego, what naturally fills in that empty space is self-love which sprouts into the authentic self or self empowerment.
For each person this experience will be different, For the most part, ending karma is an expression of love in which you step into empowerment, by becoming emotionally independent from the other person. And like the rose bud, you can’t force it to flower. When you’re ready and you come into alignment with the action of your heart, it just happens.
We talk a lot about karma and what it looks like, however it’s not until we have a karmic experience that teaches us what it’s like to bring it to resolve, do we fully comprehend how to navigate it. Do it right once, and the rest of your life is bliss.

My blessings to you…

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