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Everyone has something that they put themselves into, a passion, a hobby, a career… Being in-tune with our partner is knowing what they need to thrive, and supporting them in making that happen. This makes you the most wanted person on the planet. However this has to be equal on both sides; if (she) is supporting his career then he needs to at the same time support something for her that has her feeling equally inspired. When there is equal support being expressed, there is a lot less resentment. This practice is consistently on going, and like good wine it gets better with time. This pours into all forms of life; personal, sex, family, home, friends, spiritual practice…
She loves to tend plants, so I build flowerbeds. She processes some of her life through color. So she picks out the color, and I paint the room. And when she crashes emotionally, she knows my gentle strength is there for her support. Happy partner, thriving relationship. Helping her to process by supporting her to be the best she can be, and at her speed. I know she knows what she needs, I don’t have to guess. Or simply knowing when to be quiet, as in not having to fix everything she speaks of. What women need most is for men to be present; giving her his intimate attention, and not because he wants sex. Because he also wants “that” from her.
For her: he will slow down, step out of his comfort zone, and actually listen to who she is and how she is. The feminine loves to process out her issues by talking it through. So by listening well enough, he can begin to understand the difference between when it is that she needs him to fix a problem, and when to just be present. Being present is being emotionally available without trying to “fix” anything; it’s non-active yet she has your full attention for her emotional needs, even if it’s just to listen.
For him: she will step outside of her comfort zone, and find in herself where it’s easy to ask for what she needs. The masculine tends to be private, and off by himself with his emotions. So by listening to his silence, she can better support his need for emotional clarity.
Men tend to be loud, even though he seeks quiet and solitude, he uses non-verbal communication. Women are very quiet, even though she seeks company and likes to chatter, she tends to keep things to herself. For a meaningful and enriched relationship they will both want to learn to step outside of their comfort zones, then use their face to face words in gently describing what they need. It’s the quality of relating that needs practice. Daring to express with clarity and depth.
Intimately knowing her love language, the culture she’s accustom with, the family dynamics she grew up in, what her personal growth curve is, her spiritual goals, and out of all that what she values from me different from what I think.
The instincts of women is that they are information gathers, and supreme nurtures, and that’s what makes them so valuable to men. The same would be said for men: beyond his protection he also provides the space and vehicle for her creativity. The more he knows about her, and is consistently attentive to her needs, the more valuable he becomes as a mate to her.

My blessings to you…

Notes:
Be mindful of your own sense of personal boundaries. Give as much as you’re willing to give, or the resentment will shred what you’re trying to build. Follow the happiness of what you’re providing. Pace yourself, we’re not building Rome in a day. A little goes a long ways. However be very mindful of the Plans and Promises that are spoken of.
Remember: this needs to be consistent all the way through your relationship. The quality of what you did to win her heart in the beginning of your relationship, needs to be consistent all the way through to the end. When she says “I do”, it keeps going. When you stop, the relationship and her trust begins to unravel. Women need this support all the way through their lives for a healthy relationship, just like how the masculine needs physical and emotional attention all the way through his life.
Cheating mostly comes from not being consistent all the way through. Somehow there is a belief that once they say “I do” the work is over. So if it is “work” to you, it would be wise to think very carefully before saying “I do”. Because as she is walking out the door with everything you own, that is the consequence of being inconsistent. So know yourself, and know them.
Know their love-language, because if he speaks a different language than what she needs to experience, she won’t get her needs met. The love-language that your partner needs, needs to be something that’s easy for you to give. This is part of “do we match”? And if not, then it’s necessary to find a balanced way of receiving that need through another avenue. This is always done through communication with your partner, so they are in on the discussion, and part of the decision.
The love-languages are:
words of affirmation, (affection)
physical touch,
acts of service,
quality time,
and gifts.

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