011When your young [in your teens and 20’s] sex tends to be that god like connection. We find sex is for exploring other people, is for exploring who you are, who you can be, and so on. Then in your 30′s it’s in finding who brings the most joy from it. And finally in the late 40′s and 50′s it’s all about transformation. We come full circle, in that through sex we reconnect to God. We find healing in sex, and we find the flow of abundance in the energy of the sexual orgasm. The irony in it all, is that women in their late 50′s and 60′s begin to move away from sex, while men are beginning to explore those more defined details in the qualities of intimacy through sexuality.
Two things men need in a relationship: sex and attention, and they need it ALL the way through their lives.
A women needs safe, nurturing emotional connections with her lover, all the way through her life
Women are at their prime from the 20’s to mid to late 40’s. Then they begin to lose interest and take the attention off of their husbands, and begin to focus more on themselves, as in career and quality of life.

Young men are all about themselves; adventures in self-discovery. Meanwhile, young women are giving their attention to the relationship with him, and to the family.
Older women shift their attention away from him and the family, and focusing in on their own self-discovery. Meanwhile, older men are settling down, and their focus is turned to the needs of her and family.
So there is a brief moment in the mid 30’s to mid 40’s where they match, and are in sync with each other. Then they become opposite once again.

A woman can have the belief system of the man being the financial provider, so she can be a stay-at-home housewife. Then the kids come along, and she no longer has as much time or energy to give him the attention he needs as he needs it.
Hence, the man cheats on his wife, and has an affair with a younger woman who has the time and energy for giving him the attention he so craves. And after all that he comes back to his wife, because she is the only one who truly knows and completely understands him, and in “that”, he finds her more attractive than the younger woman.

May your blessings be in that you understand this before…

* Why is the younger woman attracted to the older man? Because at this point in his development he has learned how to navigate his emotions, and therefore he’s more centered less reactionary. He’s learned the importance of being present and emotionally available. And he has more practice in understanding what it is that needs his physical attention from her communications, and what just needs to be heard. And that brings us to the other piece of irony in relationships, which is when women are having children in their 20’s and 30’s, they need a man who is emotionally centered, is settled into the home life, and has strong financial stability. All this describes the older man, because at that age the younger man is out chasing adventures.
All this shows us how men and women are so completely unique from each other.
“And I realize not ALL men fit into this description”.
Sometimes women are attracted to the security of the older man because they have “daddy” issues. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just a piece of their childhood experience that was missing, and it’s a process of having that experience that helps to move them forward.
Men can also have mommy issues , as in not letting go. This just means they need more time to process that experience, and for some that may be a lifetime.
There is absolutely nothing wrong about being attracted to an older man or woman, their just a bit more settled is all.

For some women, the moment they have him they want to change him. These are women that are unsatisfied within themselves, and they are trying to change their environment by changing the environment. When in fact what creates “real” change is shifting your personal perception, or modifying your own behavior. In any case it happens within you. He has absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s a hole in your heart that you need to heal. And if you want very specific qualities in a man, then look for the man that posses those qualities first, because he can’t create what he doesn’t have. Men will change only so far for a woman, before they start to crumble under that pressure, and if you persist the relationship will unravel faster than you can say “lickitty-split”.